Marylyn’s Story
Marylyn Carleo Grabosky, fiercely loving, fiercely independent, and fiercely private, always did things her way. On December 4, 2021 after eight years of pushing back multiple health challenges, she died as she chose to live: gracefully, peacefully, at home in Chicago with her beloved spouse Laura Desmond at her side.
Born in Utica, New York on October 31, 1940, Marylyn was the eldest child of Carmel and Stephen Custidero. For the first five years of her life, she grew up in Washington D.C. and Virginia, while Carmel kept house and her father was part of the team that first developed radar technology for the U.S. government during World War II. Tragically, Stephen died of accidental radiation exposure in 1945. Two years later, Marylyn’s mother remarried Frank Carleo, and he adopted and raised Marylyn and her young brother Frank, as his own. Four years later, her youngest brother David arrived on the scene, and the family moved to Liverpool, NY, outside of Syracuse. It would be a place Marylyn would return to countless times visiting her parents and family. She loved the rolling hills, the long windy roads, the salt box houses and physical beauty of upstate New York.
Marylyn was an excellent student. She had a multitude of interests, and they all came easily to her. She was a Bell Lab Scholar and 1958 Valedictorian of Liverpool High School. She earned a full scholarship to Syracuse University, from which she graduated Magna Cum Laude with a B.A. in Philosophy in 1962. She went on to earn a Master’s Degree in English from the University of Chicago in 1972. She put her passion for education into action, teaching English and becoming Department Chair at Lincoln Way Central High School in New Lenox, Illinois from 1975-1995. At Lincoln Way, she designed a curriculum that led to an increase in the school’s National Merit finalists; she also created an innovative AP interdisciplinary course in English and History, that was recognized by the State of Illinois.
Marylyn’s pride in her Italian-American heritage showed up in her deep and sustained connection to her family, and also in her cooking – as anyone who had the pleasure of sharing fresh tomato caprese, meaty lasagna, stuffed shells or delicately made zucchini flowers at her table could attest. And beyond food, she loved culture of all kinds: music, architecture, cinema, theater, literature, and art. She frequently put her own hand to crafting beauty as well, painting and restoring “found” items of furniture for their home. She and Laura travelled the world with enthusiasm and inevitably, she would find the perfect local treasure to bring home and remind them of their adventures.
As Laura’s career stretched across multiple markets and growing responsibilities, Marylyn was the ideal partner. She created and recreated homes – in London, New York City, Miami Beach -- that were oases of comfort for them in each new location. She delighted in learning the ad business and engaging with colleagues and clients, who universally admired and loved her. Her curiosity and charm yielded perceptive insights that were a key ingredient in Laura’s success.
Marylyn was an unwavering feminist, and a loyal supporter of women’s rights and advocacy groups such as Personal PAC, Planned Parenthood, and Emily’s List. She made frequent donations to female candidates for local, state, and national political office and she became a strong advocate for helping women and girls in STEM educational programs.
She was an avid walker and took great pride in her fitness & strength. She was an early adopter of yoga, which she loved. Years later, she took up Tai Chi, boxing and cross training when she learned that these disciplines could benefit her health.
Marylyn had a radiant smile and an easy, infectious giggle. She was both delighted by and utterly protective of those she loved. She knew her principles and held steadily to them, even through the strongest storms. She had no patience for fools or those who would take advantage of others. She had a way of asking the one piercing question that got right to the heart of any matter.
Those who knew her best knew that Marylyn balanced seemingly opposing traits with grace. She was confident in her own opinions, but she was a patient and open-minded listener. Her style was refined and elegant, but also incredibly practical. She appreciated beauty and quality but hated fussiness. She was always up for an adventure, but she truly cherished quiet time at home.
Marylyn deeply loved Chicago, and she gave her time and resources generously to campaigns and causes that she felt would make the city stronger, more beautiful and more equitable. Her heart, though, belonged to the quiet woods and sandy dunes of Michiana, where she and Laura spent countless happy times together and with their dearest friends & family.
In addition to her spouse of 34 years Laura Desmond, and her sweet cat Sammie, Marylyn is remembered by two brothers, Frank Carleo (Susan) of Inglewood, CA and David Carleo (Roberta) of Liverpool, NY. She will be dearly missed by family, friends and former students.
A Celebration of Life Event will be held on May 15, 2022 at 3:30pm to honor Marylyn, her life and legacy.
Gifts may also be made in Marylyn’s honor to the legacy endowments and charitable organizations she created and cared about. More information about each of these and their meaningfulness to Marylyn can be found here.
